There really is no easy way to a strong, healthy marriage. If there is a secret to having a great marriage, it would have to be hard work. Sometimes we think that once a person falls in love it is the end of all our worries. We all know the fairy tale stories and how they always end "and they lived happily ever after." The truth is, the two lovebirds had their first fight just weeks after the honeymoon. The other misconception is that people fall in and out of love. One doesn"t fall out of love; they simply stop working and trying to make their spouse happy. Marriage is a two way street.

1- Flower Analogy

If a couple want to have a strong, happy marriage, they have to look at marriage like a flower. As corny as it may sound, without work and effort everyday, a marriage will die just like a flower will die without water and sunlight. It simply can't survive. And it is an everyday process. Everyday that goes by without making an effort, the marriage is weakened. Remember, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greener where you water it.

2- Change Yourself

So for those who are wondering how to begin the process of bettering their marriage and realize there need to be a change in attitude, let us suggest that the change needs to begin with you, not your spouse. If you are thinking to yourself that if your spouse would just do this or change that, you have the wrong attitude and are using the wrong approach. You, in reality, can't change other people. You can, however, change your attitude and perception.

3- Service

So where do you start? One of the best ways to realize how much you love and appreciate someone is to serve them. Going out of your way to do something you know they will appreciate. In this way you are not saying that you love them, you are showing them that you do. Then, when you say later "I love you", they will believe you. By sacrificing your own wants and desires for their happiness you will come to appreciate them more. Now, as we said, this has to be a two way street; however, when you begin you will probably notice before too long that your spouse will want to not only thank you, but will want to reciprocate service to you the way that you have been serving them.

By always putting your spouse and their happiness first, both will realize that they get more satisfaction from making their spouse happy than who is right and who is wrong. Remember, there is no such thing as a "perfect" marriage. It takes hard work and sacrifice day in and day out.